Occasionally, when I am bored, or in need of something to stimulate my brain I will surf through Forbes.com's slideshow lists .. tonight's choice was Most Bizarre restaurants ... and while I don't know that I agree with all their choices, it amused me (how they missed the Cafe De Sade, supposedly an S&M themed restaurant in Manhattan, I could not tell you). And so, as I often do, after one of these little shows - I did a web search for theme restaurants in NYC, for many reasons - 1) I wanted to see reviews for the ninja & Mars themed places they had mentioned, 2) to see what they missed (they always do) and 3) because sometimes kitsch is fun.

So a search was done, reviews were found, other kitchy places located - and then I saw this - the Moomia Lounge and Hookah Bar - listed as an Egyptian themed restaurant and club.

Now, before I give you good people the link, and we discuss this further - let us take a brief trip into what themed restaurants mean to me. If you are going to choose a theme, attempt to stick with it. Medieval times and it's fried chicken and corn-on-the-cob (I haven't been there in years) is at least an attempt at the concept of "they had limited utensils back then, so this is what they ate" a failed attempt, but still - I see the road that led them there. If you are going to choose to make your restaurant Egyptian themed, you have a responsibility - nay, a sacred duty - to make some attempt to make the food fit the theme. Somehow. Serve Tut Tacos if you must, but TRY. I will laugh at you, and shake my head at your foolishness, but you are, in fact, a theme restaurant, and so - really, shame on me for expecting any more than that. (This is part of what amazes me about the restaurants at Epcot - it's real food, real culturally accurate food - it's not always GOOD culturally accurate food - but for gods sakes people, it's Disney, and they're serving thousands a day - I can cut them some slack for real honest to god biryani.)

Which leads us to this .... http://www.moomiany.com/foodmenu/index.html - go ahead - look around - I'll wait ...

Done? Good. Now -

Can someone Please - for the love of all that is holy - please explain to me what business genius decided that this exquisitely Egyptian themed, decorated, hookah serving (page three folks) restaurant was going to serve nothing but SUSHI??????

I get that sushi is "in" now, I am a big fan myself - truly - but the Pharaohs DID NOT EAT SUSHI!! They probably would have cut the hand off the cook who tried it. And this is not a screw up - the chef is exclusively a Japanese/seafood chef - they did this on purpose. What were they thinking? Can you imagine that conversation?

"We've spent hundreds of thousands of dollars getting this place set up to look as much like Ancient Egypt as possible - we just need food ... hmm"

"What about Egyptian food?"

"Nah - everyone will expect it"

"American?"

"Boring - we have to do something completely out of left field - really knock them for a loop. I got it - SUSHI!"

"Wow! Yeah! Great idea!"

And no, in this case, naming 3 rolls after Egyptian things does not count - if those were the only rolls on the menu, and they were sitting next to Mummy Mojito's, Ramses Ragu, Tut Taco's and Ceasar's Salad (passed - it works) then, ok - it's an attempt - and again - I would laugh, and sooo not order them, but still, theme restaurant. This? This is just Wrong. Wrong Wrong Wrong. This is not just not an attempt, this is so blatantly not an attempt that it's an insult to food - on behalf of the foodie gods I declare a FAIL.

And the hookahs! Having decided to fly in the face of convention and make this distractingly disturbing choice - they serve hookahs. With SUSHI.

................

Let us combine the clean, light - crisp flavors of sushi (I'm guessing here, as their sushi looks fairly traditional) with flavored water pipes. BRILLIANT! There is nothing I like more after a wonderful meal of excellently prepared sushi than to flood my tastebuds with flavored smoke and totally kill my ability to savor any other flavors - and I speak as a former smoker. WTF?? Did they order the hookahs before they decided on sushi and not want to return them? Does the chef have some demonic hold on the owners who really *want* an Egyptian themed restaurant but are trapped into some loveless union with a renegade sushi chef bent on their destruction?

I have no idea - but this whole idea just screams FAIL - horrible, terrible foodie FAIL. On behalf of the food gods, I say unto thee, whoever you are, Moomia Lounge and Hookah Bar - take a good look at your schizophrenic restaurant, it is crying out for therapy - fire whoever it was who told you the Egyptian sushi hookah thing was a good idea - and either redecorate or get yourself a good Egyptian chef. I vote for the latter.

Mummies do NOT eat SUSHI!

Just Because a friend needed something else on her LJ page besides a screaming bird - and really what are friends for ... :)

I mean - without friends, who would keep you company while you do boring things, or remember in jokes, or commiserate with you when your baby - the first car you bought yourself - is slowly but surely dying - and you have to go through the absurdity that is car shopping - or start planning a year in advance for a con - or oogle cute boys with you - or cheer you up when you are feeling blue and unloved - or ask you how things are - or care -

Friends will remember in that all important moment, that this is a game, and that real-life wins all ties - and you should do the right thing - because ultimately you're just playing around with invisible lines on a map and silly names and real life is what is really important - and being there for people when they are in need is a virtue no-one can afford to lose.

And friends will save you some of that wine they're drinking - because you saved them from the baby birds ;)

So - I've been home all day - and I have to say - I'm kinda annoyed at the weather people. 

I was going to go in to work this morning - it wasn't that bad.  But noooooo - the BIG ONE was coming!!!!  More Snow was On The Way!!!  Stay Off The Roads!!  My Boss - said to stay home - so I did.

Now, I have been sitting here - all day - right next to a window.  Granted - I have left this spot to heat food - use the potty - y'know - stuff. 

I have seen no monster snowstorm.  I will admit that perhaps I missed it while I was heating food (in the microwave) or in the potty.  BUT - the snow does not look appreciably higher than it was this morning when - as I mentioned - I was going to go to work.  So I have - essentially - just wasted a personal or vacation day - for no good reason. 

We are not amused.
Granted - I got laundry folded - and got to spend the day talking to purpura  and captain_wdrake - which is certainly a wonderful way to spend a day.  But I hate using up time if I don't have to - especially since I wanted to take some me time once the weather got nicer.
Oh well - at least it gave me something else to put up here - right?

(Postscript - Much love to nounsandverbs - who helped me figure out how to link to users and kept me from smashing my poor computer - not only can he write - he's killer tech support!)

So here we are - after much hemming and hawing - somebody finally convinced me to get on LJ.  So when you all get tired of hearing from me, you know who to blame :) 

I don't know yet what's going to end up here - this is all just a work in progress, as is my life in general.  But it should, as always, be an interesting ride.